Exhausted

I. Am. Exhausted.  I don't know what it is about this week, but I am emotionally and physically drained!  Last week I couldn't stay up past 9:00... This week, I can't get to sleep if my life were depending on it.  What the hell?  This week is no different than last week.  Nothing is different.  Even things with the guy haven't changed much... I think I am going to go to lunch with him, at the very least.  I do care about him and we've been talking for so long now... I think I'd regret it in the end if I pass up this chance to see him.  Something about the two of us together feels right.  It's beyond crazy on so many levels, but deep in my gut, it just feels right.  I don't have any other words for it.  I guess that's why this whole situation is so heartbreaking.  I'm not going to beg him or try to talk him into wanting to be with me, but at the same time, I wish he'd realize that I'm worth waiting for.  At least for the next 6 weeks until I get there and can see what things are like when we're right there in front of each other.  But until then, I have to settle for this gut-wrenching feeling that something wonderful will end before it ever had it's chance to really start.  Damn life...

I'm only at school for a half day tomorrow.  I have to go into town and observe the 1st grade teacher, and then on Friday I have to go another school on the other side of town and observe the K-6 teacher.  Mom's birthday is on Saturday, so all this planning worked out really well.  I stayed at school until 8:15 tonight to get ready for the sub.  Setting up for a sub would be so much easier if I only had one grade... It took me forever.  Copies to make, plans to type up, materials to get together, procedures to explain, blah blah blah.  There are a couple more things left to do, but I can do those in the morning.  Hopefully I will be able to get up and get my rear in gear so that I can be over at the school around 7 or 7:30.  So far this week, I've been strolling in right at 8.  Which leaves 45 minutes to prep before school starts... And I spend half of that talking to Kelleigh, haha.

Leaving in 6 weeks!!